From Plundering To Wondering

#72, July 25, 2001

It was another morning two-wheel commute, where it seems the oxygen and green tea turbocharge my right brain into ever strange new combinations of words. That day, at breakfast, I had been reading the grim stories about President Bush's new old energy plan. Grr. Grrrr. Grrrr! Well here's MY energy plan, said I, as I pedaled off into another sweet Petaluma Spring day.

Somewhere on North McDowell, between the hospital and the railroad tracks, I heard a voice. It was Dion (remember Dion and the Belmonts?) He sang the chorus of one of my favorite oldies, "The Wanderer", but with a deliciously wicked and timely twist. I had only to listen, prod him a bit, and try to not forget those lyrics. After a few days, here's what we came up with (feel free to sing along):

"Well, I'm the kind of President who really likes to drill. / And I'm not gonna worry about the gasoline we swill. / Conservation's just a virtue, Jimmy Carter was a pill. / I don't believe those scientists who say were gonna grill. / Cause I'm a plunderer. / They call me The Plunderer. / I drill around around around around around.

"Well me and Mr. Cheney, we want to drill the most / In the Rockies of Montana, off the California coast, /
And up there by the north pole we'll be eatin' reindeer roast. / Just because I come from Texas doesn't mean it's just a boast. / They call me The Plunderer, / yeah I'm The Plunderer. / I drill around around around around around.

"Well, we're gonna need more oil. / And we're gonna need lots of it. / I don't care what we despoil /
'Cause I'm a drilling guy and I love love love it!

"We're gonna build a missile shield made out of CO2, / Put all defenseless creatures in a 'dangered species zoo, / then let the Corporations do whate'er they want to do. / Haliburton gets the drillin',
and you all get the screw. / Cause I'm a plunderer. They call me The Plunderer. / I drill around around around around around…"

For weeks, whenever I felt bad about the looting underway in our nation's capitol, bellowing that chorus Elvis-style lightened my spirits. But then came the real relief. First, SenatorJim Jefford's jumped off the pirate ship. Then the Euro-leaders thumped Bush over his global warming myopia. Finally, the House overwhelmingly rejected his bid to open national monument lands to energy extraction, with dozens Republicans joining the Democrats. Happily, I could now write an upbeat final verse:

"But lately something's happening, the people are upset. / This conservation action-- it really makes me sweat / Their love for this enviro-mint it seems they won't forget / Hey Dick, don't go a' starting up those drilling rigs just yet. / It's got me wondering, about my plundering. / Now I'm a wondering, if I'm not blundering. / Should I stop plundering, that's what I'm wondering / Wondering round and round and round and round and round."

On the subject of success against pirating: the House of Representatives opponents of campaign finance reform (CFR) were beaten back in their attempt to scuttle the Shays-Meehan bill (the House version of the McCain-Feingold bill passed by the Senate earlier this year.) Rather than let the bill come to the floor on a fair vote, they proposed bringing it up under rules which would have allowed it to be gutted without holding opponents accountable. In what was mistakenly reported as a defeat for CFR, CFR supporters repelled this stealth attack. Our Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey deserves a big "Thank You!" for being on the right side of this most critical issue. Now it's time for everyone to call on House Speaker Dennis Hastert (at 202-225-0600) to live up to his promise and immediately schedule a clean vote on Shays-Meehan.

So, tomorrow morning: get on the phone to Washington, then get on your bike and get around. Make up a happy ending to a song of your own!