#93, May 15, 2002
I'm parked in my writing
zone, love seat supporting the glutes, arm-cushion wedged against the lumbar
curve, curlicue compact fluorescent lamp holding back the night. All quiet. I'm
alone, with not a thought for company, nothing to rock the writers block that's
been stalking me all evening.
Though I'm weary, I'm not
worried. For there, trailing down from my computer, is my yellow CAT-5 tail, my
umbilicus to the humming vastness of the world-wide-web. 2,073,418,204 pages
awaiting exploration. Where to begin, where to begin?
I go to www.google.com.
IMHO, Google is the best. I won't tell you how many columns have lived to see
the light of day thanks to a direct hit on critical information, directed by
Google. So let's get started!
Search: "Writing
newspaper columns." Found: the Columnists page on the Web site for
Journalists, with this quote, "I harbor a conviction that I can read nothing
but columns (editorials, op-ed pieces, commentators and national, local and
sports columnists) and remain abreast of current events. In fact, one probably
can stay better informed about issues and current debates than one who reads
nothing but the front-page news. Besides, it's a lot more fun and one is
exposed to the true 'literature' of journalism. Some of the finest writing in
newspapers is found in columns and editorials (some of the worst, too)."
Overall, this is a fair portal site for us word waggers. Weakness:
Argus-Courier not among its listings (Chris, can you fix that?)
Search: "stiff neck
remedies." Found: A page of homeopathic treatments - looks like too much
work, though, this late hour. But at the bottom of the page, this looks
promising: "Use a firm, low pillow so that you lie with your neck as
straight as possible." Mmmmm, pillow, sleep . . . but must keep writing,
only at 300 words. Plus, tomorrow I have to write another response to Peter
Pfendler's lawyers.
Search: "Peter
Pfendler." Found: A copy of the March 25, 1998 "Hot Irons"
newsletter of the California Cattlemen's Association, where the famous local
conservationist is listed as "new PAC 100 Club member" for
contributing at least $100 to the Cattlemen's Political Action Committee. The
newsletter is full of reports on the association's efforts to challenge and
weaken enforcement of environmental laws like the Endangered Species Act (the
same "Act" his lawyers have used to oppose hiking on the former
cattle lands of Lafferty Park. An Oscar they should get for such an act, I tell
you!)
Search:
"Hypocrisy." Found: A tongue-in-cheek online publication called
"Hypocrisy Today: The official publication of the American Society of
Sociopaths." It defines a sociopath as "an individual whose behavior
is socially acceptable, and in fact, who appears to be an ideal person. In
reality, this individual sees no value in other people except as they may
affect his/her own self-gratification."
Search: "SLAPP
Lawsuits." Found: The Environmental Background Information Center site. It
says, "Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation (SLAPPs) are
lawsuits intended to intimidate politically active citizens into silence."
Hmmmm . . . :-o
Search: "Humor
columnists" (as in, people who write funny things in order to get a laugh
out of readers and their lawyers.) Found: Dave Barry, who years ago wrote about
the repair of the Hubble Space Telescope, saying the first photographs taken by
the telescope were extreme close-ups of a label that read, "Please remove
this label before using telescope."
Search: "Hubble
Photographs." Found: The Hubble Heritage Project
(http://heritage.stsci.edu/index.html). When you need to get grounded in
reality, and recover a sense of proportion and perspective, look at these pictures
of the miracle we inhabit. About the colorful filaments of the crab nebulae, it
says "These chemical elements, some of them newly created during the
evolution and explosion of the star and now blasted back into space, will
eventually be incorporated into new stars and planets. Astronomers believe that
the chemical elements in the Earth and even in our own bodies, such as carbon,
oxygen, and iron, were made in other exploding stars billions of years
ago."
I'm google-eyed. Good
night.